The readings and vows you recite during your wedding ceremony are basically why everyone’s gathered there in the first place, watching you make this incredible commitment… no pressure.
In order to create something unique and genuinely speak from the heart, you can’t just hastily scratch something on a piece of paper and call it good; you need time.
As you think about the rest of your lives together and all the ways you promise to be there, we’ve got some tricks to help invite the muse and get you started on your vows.
As a bonus, we’ve added tips on how to find the perfect readings.
So, settle down with a notebook and pen, let’s do this!
Getting Started on Your Vows
It’s important to remember that no matter what style you choose to write your vows in, they should sound authentic—just like your wedding day and all the gorgeous details you include—your vows should be a reflection of you.
Don’t mimic Shakespeare, unless you actually use Old English in your everyday life, methinks the lady doth not.
Your authentic voice may include humor, it can be romantic, whatever it is, it needs to be you.
Now. What are you actually vowing?
What lifelong promises are you making that you wish to convey?
Think about your relationship: the ups and downs, the ways your soon-to-be spouse has supported you, and all the ways you’ll be there for them.
As your wheels start turning, begin to freewrite.
Just let it out.
Giving your hand permission to fly across the page is a wonderful way to access a deeper part of yourself—the part close to your heart that has all the magic you need to include in your vows.
Spill your love out onto the page. Visit your hopes and dreams, the ways you’ll rise to meet challenges together, and still honor and protect your love.
Don’t worry about editing or shaping it into something—that part will come later.
You can do this freewriting brainstorming session in one setting, or spend some time revisiting it each week.
Writing your Vows
When you feel as though the things you want to convey are in the pages of your notebook, you can then begin to create structure.
Go through what you’ve written, and highlight the parts that stick out. Those are the bits you’ll actually include in your vows after they’ve been edited.
Most vows are structured like this:
- They take 1-3 minutes to recite
- They open with how the couple met
- Some touch on how they learned their partner was “the one”
- Most close with promises centered around lifelong love, support, and respect
You can include humor mixed with heartfelt earnestness—even inside jokes.
If you’re a creative type truly itching for something ultra-unique, here are some ideas on how to achieve that with your vows:
- Write your vows into a poem
- Work with a musician to turn what you’ve written into a song, and have someone perform it at the wedding
- Write the vows in a unique format, such as a question-and-answer structure, or a fairytale
Helpful Tips:
- DON’T leave writing your vows to the last minute
- Work on your vows during the time of day you feel most inspired (or caffeinated!)
- Write a few different versions—you can enlist help from a friend to choose the best one
- If you struggle with writing, find a trusted friend who can help or check out some examples from others
- Practice reciting your vows aloud
- If you choose to memorize them, have them on hand during the wedding ceremony, just in case your nerves get the best of you
Selecting Readings
The fun thing about selecting readings is you can pull them from anywhere. There’s literature—an obvious choice—but you also have song lyrics, movies, kids’ books, poems, philosophical or religious text, you get the idea.
If there’s a movie you and your fiancée love, perhaps it would be fitting to squeeze in some words of wisdom from one of the scenes as your selected reading, if it fits and is appropriate.
If there’s a band you always go out of your way to watch perform live, one of their songs may contain lyrics perfect for the occasion.
Think outside the box here and choose something that moves you.
Conclusion:
At the end of the day, your vows are promises made from the heart.
If what you write comes encompasses the depth of love you have for the incredibly special person you’re writing the vows for, hands down—mic drop—you’ve nailed it.
